The Unintentional Poet of Collections

I have held off on descriptions of my colleagues for a while now for a variety of reasons. Partially because I don't want posts to devolve into generic whining about the people I work with, and partially because even though we're on a "team", collections is a really solitary endeavor between me and the person on the phone.

Colleagues do come into play in seating arrangements, and was one of the things that drove me nuts last month, but I'm beginning to appreciate. So I will tell you about Steve, whom I have been seated next to for the past two months and have worked with for the past several.

Note: names have been changed to protect the gainfully employed who prefer to remain that way.

Much of our team is under 30, with the exceptions of me, Steve, and Mario, one of the senior collectors.

Mario is an easy thumbnail sketch - he's a large Italian-American man about my age who works at his parents' restaurant as a cook on the weekends and who grew up in New York City and still has that NYC Italian accent. (Which gets heavier and thicker on the phone if he's having difficulty with a borrower. When Mario starts sounding like Don Corleone, you know the call isn't going well.) Happily married, teenage stepson, and new baby that is running slighty roughshod over his ability to come in to work on time. Late nights Monday and Thursday tend to be just us, and I rather like him. Nice guy - we get along well.

Steve is not so easy to thumbnail, at least not for me. Steve is in his 50's, also a large man (note to self - start exercising), and has done a wide range of things in his life from computer programming in the late '70s to selling most everything under the sun. He's been with the company for about three years now. He also has a wide range of skills, having come in one Monday exhausted from spending the weekend putting on new brakes and a new stereo in his car, and complaining that his friend's lift no longer works so he has to pay someone to fix the exhaust.

(He also keeps telling me I need to get rid of the Mercedes and get a Dodge Neon. I think he may be on to something.)

I also get along well with Steve, though he drives most of the team nuts. The first reason for this is that Steve is...loud. In person, on the phone...he can and will (completely inadvertently) drown out anything.

The second reason is that Steve rambles. A lot. You will never get a short answer from Steve when there's a long one to be found. He also is a great giver of advice - some useful, some not, always unsolicited. After sitting next to him for a while I've learned to filter the not useful, ponder the useful, and to be constantly prepared at the end of a call for a "Ya know, Nick..."

It's actually the second reason that drives people insane at work. Collections is a field where time, literally, is money. Time spent not collecting from someone or not actively positively trying to collect from someone is time wasted. Conversations are short. Time spent talking to a borrower should be kept to the absolute minimum necessary to achieve results. Eyes on the prize.

Steve, stop talking during staff meeting so we can get out of here and back on the floor.

Last month drove me insane sitting between Steve and Mario. Steve is left handed, so when he takes a financial statement or has to write anything down while talking to someone, he leans to the left side of his desk. Steve was on my right, so he pretty much spent any time on the phone bellowing into my ear.

Which wouldn't have been so bad if Mario hadn't been listening to Steve on my left, and trying to tell Steve to get to the point and not talk his way out of programs. For Mario has to do the second talk-off on all of Steve's calls (as he does with everyone on his side of the row), and Mario has much better luck with people the less time Steve spends on the phone with them. Just a matter of style. For no one wants to talk to The Godfather after too much of the bizarre almost beat poetry that is Steve's talk-off and pitch.

Now that I'm not in the crossfire (I finally got to the point last month of passing Steve notes to let Mario jump on the call when I couldn't take it anymore, and Steve and I switched seats for this month), I can appreciate Steve's conversations for the poetry that they are. Steve is apologetic for having to say anything even slightly negative. Steve over-explains everything, getting into the nuts and bolts of student loans that he finds fascinating (but no borrower ever does). Steve's borrower conversations are at least twice as long as the team average. His abuse and application of language borders on the legendary, from the "quick and dirty financial statement" to "I'm sorry, I have to get this legal junk out of the way first and tell you what you probably already know - that this is an attempt by a debt collector..." (legally required by Federal law to say exactly "This is an attempt by a debt collector to collect a debt, and any information obtained will be used solely for that purpose", actually) to prepositional placement that rivals Yoda at his best.

Steve is also, from the perspective of management, a Fair Debt Collections Practices Act disclosure nightmare. He overshares without proper verification. He misrepresents the nature of our company and the nature of programs to better fit the ramble. He inadvertently pitches hardship programs in such a way that it limits any possibility that they might actually pay even if able.

In Steve's defense (and the reason I will not criticize any of the above) is one simple figure. In February, Steve pulled in 167% of his NPV goal, making him top collector for not just our team, but our section of west-coast teams. They gave him a certificate (along with a nice bonus check), which he added to his "collection". Yes, he has several.

Steve, in short, violates every single rule of good collections, and yet he succeeds in this strange niche he's created for himself.

But things are changing a bit, and this is the reason I wanted to talk about Steve. Upper management has not been happy with what they've been hearing on the phone from collectors, and there is a training movement to try and standardize a lot of what is heard and said out on the collection floor.

A lot of the reason for this movement has been to reign in problems from the other end of the spectrum - collectors who start a first borrower conversation with "Hi, I'm calling you to discuss your impending wage garnishment at 15% of gross pay for non-payment of student loans." It is also to drive profits and push for greater returns on outstanding loans, which frankly is what a collection agency is supposed to do.

Much of the training has involved listening to actual calls from the people in the room, how to tighten up delivery, insist initially on Balance in Full is Due, etc. Training will be a separate post at some point as well.

But yesterday our manager and senior manager brought us all into the training room to listen to nine calls the team had made and discuss them. None of my calls were heard (for which I'm grateful), but we did listen and critique two of Steve's calls. The critiques of his calls were not kind, and the senior manager was just in complete shock after listening to a particularly inappropriate disclosure-y ramble.

I should also mention Steve had called in sick that day. I'm not sure if that was for the better or not. Honestly, I think it was.

Mario did point out - to end the critique as it was devolving into Steve-bashing - that Steve was Steve and probably was never going to change. Mario's right. Change confuses him - he doesn't adapt quickly, and doesn't process shouting or pressure at all. He is who he is and it works for him, and more importantly gets results. No one else can do what Steve does, and a team of Steves would be disastrous. But having one is useful.

It will be interesting to see where this training program leads, though, especially if the senior manager starts putting pressure to reign Steve in. And judging by the look of shock and horror on her face as she listened to the call, I think that's coming.