I heard this one over the cubicle wall from one of the other business lines a couple of weeks ago. You'll have to fill in the other half of the conversation the same as I did.
"Sir, what are your intentions on this loan of ninety thousand dollars?"
"You intend to pay balance in full? Will that be check or credit card?"
"No, sir, I don't know if Snoop Doggy Dogg will float you a loan. Do you know him personally?"
"No, sir, I cannot call Snoop Doggy Dogg and ask him for you. If you don't know him, I doubt he will lend you the money to pay the loan."
"Well, sir, I might recommend that you possibly get a job."
"I have a job, and it's one that I do quite well. I have no interest in applying for Snoop Doggy Dogg's posse, but if you feel that would be a good career move for you..."
"Sir, I am trying to have a reasonable conversation with you about a debt you owe, and you keep saying Snoop Doggy Dogg over and over again. If you won't be reasonable about this, I'll just mark that you are refusing to pay on the loan and we will take actions accordingly."
"Sir, you may call me 'El Stupido' all you want and it changes nothing. You have a great day, and I am terminating this call."
We all applauded on our side of the cubicle.
Then another voice over the cubicle wall...
"Hey, Mark...is this the guy you were just talking to? He called in and started screaming 'El Stupido' over and over and then hung up."
After he called in and did that for the third time Mark went to go find someone in the dialer department to block the number.
Yep - welcome to the exciting world of collections.
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