I was going over old posts, and came across the one from about this time last year about adding to my folklore. My goal for 2011. So looking back, how did I do?
Results are mixed at best. I'm solidly back in a profession I used to enjoy, and I'm re-finding some of the joy that was part of it. I'm still in the same run-down apartment in LeRoy, but I've been working on clearing the backyard to actually...well, have a back yard. I'm still flat broke, but there seems to be a light somewhere.
I still have the greatest kid in the world. :)
I discovered the scary power of Habitizing when I finally became a morning person for a very brief period of time. It terrified me, and the depression kicked in and won. I intend to Habitize greatly in 2012, and the world better watch the fuck out.
Relationship front is...umm...yeah. Interesting. 2011 ended with a sideswipe I haven't figured out yet, and introduced me to someone who knocked me for a loop. Should be interestings.
Creatively - I have produced...not a goddamn thing. Sad, really.
So as far as personal folklore, it's mixed. I've done a few things, accomplished a few things, and I knew it was going to be a rebuilding year anyway. The question is where it goes from here.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Professional/Civic Organizations
As I've been filling out the job application for Geneseo Elementary, there is a section for Professional/Civic Organizations - with multiple spaces. And it's making me realize the degree to which I've pretty much checked out over the past year.
Since as far as that goes, I got nothin'.
There are, of course, a multitude of reasons for that - it has been a year of recovery and trying to reconnect with life as things have been shaken like a snow globe. I really was looking forward to going into September recharged, ready to implement a whole lot of what I've been learning and re-connecting with.
But employers don't want to hear that. They want to hear that you are a Competent Professional. Especially in a town like Geneseo, they want to see you as a grounded, well-rounded member of society. A few years ago, I would have had a lot to put on there, but for the moment I got nothing.
I suppose I can rejoin NYLA (as my current income is nothing, it should be relatively cheap), which I probably should have done at the beginning of the year anyway. And I've been doing a lot of professional development - learning about the Common Core and new books - but there really isn't space for it.
Guess I just need a really really good cover letter. :)
Since as far as that goes, I got nothin'.
There are, of course, a multitude of reasons for that - it has been a year of recovery and trying to reconnect with life as things have been shaken like a snow globe. I really was looking forward to going into September recharged, ready to implement a whole lot of what I've been learning and re-connecting with.
But employers don't want to hear that. They want to hear that you are a Competent Professional. Especially in a town like Geneseo, they want to see you as a grounded, well-rounded member of society. A few years ago, I would have had a lot to put on there, but for the moment I got nothing.
I suppose I can rejoin NYLA (as my current income is nothing, it should be relatively cheap), which I probably should have done at the beginning of the year anyway. And I've been doing a lot of professional development - learning about the Common Core and new books - but there really isn't space for it.
Guess I just need a really really good cover letter. :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tossing expectations into the river
Zen Habits is a blog I've been reading pretty heavily for the past year now - it's a blog about simplification and focus in the modern age. One post I read (and now have printed and posted on my fridge) is called "Toss Your Expectations Into The Ocean", and you can find it here:
http://zenhabits.net/ah/
(I'll wait while you read it. Need to grab breakfast anyway, right...)
I originally read it a couple of weeks ago, and I like the idea of living without expectations. So I mentally imagined tossing them into the ocean, freeing myself from their tyranny and living free.
It didn't work. Still hunkered down and depressed.
So on Tuesday afternoon, I sat down and I wrote out my expectations of life - expectations that had failed, expectations about job, legacy, relationships, etc. I came up with five big ones that covered a lot of them.
There is a creek that runs behind my apartment, and I have a favorite spot at the park where I can sit basically in the middle of it. I brought the piece of paper and a cigar, and went down to the spot for a smoke and to toss it into the river.
I read them out loud, just to hear them. Then let the paper fall from my hands, and sat down to watch it drift away down the creek and bask in the cool waters.
This too, was an expectation of sorts. The list got caught in an eddy. About three feet from the rock I was sitting on. Just swirling around and around. I almost grabbed a stick to send it on its way...and then realized this was a part of the process. Relax. Release expectations. The list, if not drifting down, will at least sink. And it will still be gone. So I stopped looking around for a stick, put my feet in the water, and watched the list swirl.
After a moment, the list found its way out of the eddy and did drift downstream. I moved my feet slowly back and forth in the water, enjoying the peace of seeing the expectations drift downstream.
And then something bit my foot.
Standing up on the rock, breathing fast, I watched the list disappear in the blaze of the sun on the water. No expectations of peace, or well-being, or allowing to linger. Just being. And seeing where that goes.
Might have to toss expectations back in the river again when I feel them cropping back up. But it's not a bad exercise.
http://zenhabits.net/ah/
(I'll wait while you read it. Need to grab breakfast anyway, right...)
I originally read it a couple of weeks ago, and I like the idea of living without expectations. So I mentally imagined tossing them into the ocean, freeing myself from their tyranny and living free.
It didn't work. Still hunkered down and depressed.
So on Tuesday afternoon, I sat down and I wrote out my expectations of life - expectations that had failed, expectations about job, legacy, relationships, etc. I came up with five big ones that covered a lot of them.
There is a creek that runs behind my apartment, and I have a favorite spot at the park where I can sit basically in the middle of it. I brought the piece of paper and a cigar, and went down to the spot for a smoke and to toss it into the river.
I read them out loud, just to hear them. Then let the paper fall from my hands, and sat down to watch it drift away down the creek and bask in the cool waters.
This too, was an expectation of sorts. The list got caught in an eddy. About three feet from the rock I was sitting on. Just swirling around and around. I almost grabbed a stick to send it on its way...and then realized this was a part of the process. Relax. Release expectations. The list, if not drifting down, will at least sink. And it will still be gone. So I stopped looking around for a stick, put my feet in the water, and watched the list swirl.
After a moment, the list found its way out of the eddy and did drift downstream. I moved my feet slowly back and forth in the water, enjoying the peace of seeing the expectations drift downstream.
And then something bit my foot.
Standing up on the rock, breathing fast, I watched the list disappear in the blaze of the sun on the water. No expectations of peace, or well-being, or allowing to linger. Just being. And seeing where that goes.
Might have to toss expectations back in the river again when I feel them cropping back up. But it's not a bad exercise.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
New Habit #2
I’ve been doing the beta test for Leo Babauta’s Habit Course, and the beta test has come to an end. What I’ve found is that during the beta test, I am now waking up in a regular way at 5:30am, no matter what hour I go to sleep. This being one of the habits I NEVER thought I would break free of, I am shocked and amazed by this 30-day idea of changing a single habit.
The question is which habit to tackle next. I think the habit I’m going to tackle next is going to be a daily writing habit - something I’ve been meaning to do for YEARS now and just haven’t done it.
My reasons for it are as follows:
* my experience is that I feel much saner when I am creating something
* I do have stories I want to tell
* This is something that ties in to the previous habit - one of the issues that I’ve had with getting up is having a purpose for getting up that early (other than being on time for work).
So I’m going to restart the cycle - this week is going to be prep to get ready for the habit, and that means going back to the opening sheet and developing a plan:
What is your target habit?
Beginning the day with a half hour of writing, increasing to an hour.
How difficult/easy is this habit?
5. Getting started on the getting up was the tough part.
What will be your daily trigger?
Getting up in the morning and meditation routine.
Specific action you'll do after the trigger?
Get cup of coffee and sit down to write.
Probable obstacles and how you'll overcome them.
My apartment is still not conducive to ease of flow and energy. So part of the prep week is cleaning and organizing so that I don’t have the clutter taking up creative space.
There are the usual obstacles of any endeavour, but I think getting into the projects will be good for me and will provide motivation.
Positive reinforcement and encouragement plan:
Breakfast immediately after writing - maybe a quick cigar if it isn’t raining.
Accountability system/Support system:
Facebook status seems to be a good way to do it. I got lots of positive encouragement for changing my sleeping habits, so hopefully this will have the same effect.
Research:
This used to be an important part of my life, but I was never willing to make it a priority. It has to be now, as I’m tired of not writing my novel(s).
The question is which habit to tackle next. I think the habit I’m going to tackle next is going to be a daily writing habit - something I’ve been meaning to do for YEARS now and just haven’t done it.
My reasons for it are as follows:
* my experience is that I feel much saner when I am creating something
* I do have stories I want to tell
* This is something that ties in to the previous habit - one of the issues that I’ve had with getting up is having a purpose for getting up that early (other than being on time for work).
So I’m going to restart the cycle - this week is going to be prep to get ready for the habit, and that means going back to the opening sheet and developing a plan:
What is your target habit?
Beginning the day with a half hour of writing, increasing to an hour.
How difficult/easy is this habit?
5. Getting started on the getting up was the tough part.
What will be your daily trigger?
Getting up in the morning and meditation routine.
Specific action you'll do after the trigger?
Get cup of coffee and sit down to write.
Probable obstacles and how you'll overcome them.
My apartment is still not conducive to ease of flow and energy. So part of the prep week is cleaning and organizing so that I don’t have the clutter taking up creative space.
There are the usual obstacles of any endeavour, but I think getting into the projects will be good for me and will provide motivation.
Positive reinforcement and encouragement plan:
Breakfast immediately after writing - maybe a quick cigar if it isn’t raining.
Accountability system/Support system:
Facebook status seems to be a good way to do it. I got lots of positive encouragement for changing my sleeping habits, so hopefully this will have the same effect.
Research:
This used to be an important part of my life, but I was never willing to make it a priority. It has to be now, as I’m tired of not writing my novel(s).
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Testing out new habits
So I have signed up for being a beta tester for a “Habits Course” developed by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. Zen Habits is a blog I read in a regular way for self improvement and self-development tips (though I’ve done a piss-poor job of actually implementing any of them).
The habits course is trying to begin one good or eliminate one bad habit, and how to go about it. The idea is that it takes time, and to develop a solid plan for doing so. Knowing that I could come up with a habit I should either start or stop, I signed up.
No, this is NOT a request for suggestions. :)
The habit I’ve decided to work on is getting up in the morning. I have always been a “bed lounger” - lying around, staring at the ceiling, not wanting to get up until the absolute last minute I possibly can, and then running around in a flurry as I try to get everything done. It always ends in my getting out the door late, and then cascades into the whole day being late, and me running on “Nick time”.
So what to replace lounging with? If I still want to have a quiet start to the morning, I’m thinking that starting the day with 10 minutes or so of quiet meditation would be for the best. Not forcing myself to do something like go jogging, or other such things. Quick switch for switch.
The first week is planning - so I have vacation to plan and adjust, which sets me up for the perky mornings starting right when we get back. I’m looking over the planning sheet, and I’m going to fill it out here first.
What is your target habit?
Beginning the day with 10 minutes of meditation immediately.
How difficult/easy is this habit? *
7 - will be hard to break 37 years of being a morning slouch
What will be your daily trigger?
Alarm clock goes off.
Specific action you'll do after the trigger
Get up, put on teakettle, then sit down to meditate.
Probable obstacles and how you'll overcome them.
Apartment is not conducive to meditation and the process I want to incorporate - will work on that in the planning week.
I am a natural-born morning slacker - will overcome with promise of coffee post-meditation, and reminders that, well, this is the whole point, now isn’t it?
Positive reinforcement and encouragement plan:
Positive reinforcement will be coffee and breakfast (part of the reason for the change as well). Also a quick walk out to the bridge if it’s nice enough for a walk.
And hopefully, just enjoying that I did it. :)
Accountability system:
Daily reporting system build into the Habit system.
Support system:
Will be posting on FB, though not with status updates. there is something called 30 days that I think will work without annoying my friends.
Research:
There’s all the research about meditation being beneficial, and I know I will never be the type to jump up and run a few miles. I also know step 1 of the process (cut the nightly cocktail) will also be of great benefit as well.
So yeah - that's my plan, though i need to wait until vacation to do the planning, though I can start in on some of the prep. Will be interesting to see if this works.
The habits course is trying to begin one good or eliminate one bad habit, and how to go about it. The idea is that it takes time, and to develop a solid plan for doing so. Knowing that I could come up with a habit I should either start or stop, I signed up.
No, this is NOT a request for suggestions. :)
The habit I’ve decided to work on is getting up in the morning. I have always been a “bed lounger” - lying around, staring at the ceiling, not wanting to get up until the absolute last minute I possibly can, and then running around in a flurry as I try to get everything done. It always ends in my getting out the door late, and then cascades into the whole day being late, and me running on “Nick time”.
So what to replace lounging with? If I still want to have a quiet start to the morning, I’m thinking that starting the day with 10 minutes or so of quiet meditation would be for the best. Not forcing myself to do something like go jogging, or other such things. Quick switch for switch.
The first week is planning - so I have vacation to plan and adjust, which sets me up for the perky mornings starting right when we get back. I’m looking over the planning sheet, and I’m going to fill it out here first.
What is your target habit?
Beginning the day with 10 minutes of meditation immediately.
How difficult/easy is this habit? *
7 - will be hard to break 37 years of being a morning slouch
What will be your daily trigger?
Alarm clock goes off.
Specific action you'll do after the trigger
Get up, put on teakettle, then sit down to meditate.
Probable obstacles and how you'll overcome them.
Apartment is not conducive to meditation and the process I want to incorporate - will work on that in the planning week.
I am a natural-born morning slacker - will overcome with promise of coffee post-meditation, and reminders that, well, this is the whole point, now isn’t it?
Positive reinforcement and encouragement plan:
Positive reinforcement will be coffee and breakfast (part of the reason for the change as well). Also a quick walk out to the bridge if it’s nice enough for a walk.
And hopefully, just enjoying that I did it. :)
Accountability system:
Daily reporting system build into the Habit system.
Support system:
Will be posting on FB, though not with status updates. there is something called 30 days that I think will work without annoying my friends.
Research:
There’s all the research about meditation being beneficial, and I know I will never be the type to jump up and run a few miles. I also know step 1 of the process (cut the nightly cocktail) will also be of great benefit as well.
So yeah - that's my plan, though i need to wait until vacation to do the planning, though I can start in on some of the prep. Will be interesting to see if this works.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Detox
Spring cleaning time. I will make a notable exception for a friendly beer with a certain very cute someone if she comes over. However, other than that, the booze is done for the time being. Detox begins. Time to get healthy again.
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